Three Poems To Let Go

Drawing by Natalie Fitzsimmons, Poem by Rose Dallimore

mama

mama i said 

he loves it —   

yes i did —

he loves me down to the spit 

i said she loves it       

loves the grit 

under my nails 

i said she wants to inhale me     

mama      that's what i said 

           he wants to live inside of me 

because i am a home. 

under freckle fat and scarred skin        

they want within 

they say im a home 

mama       and i said     yes          

she wants in my hair        to nest       to rest         

to build a house

because       they say i am a home           

mama       and 

i say yes 

                      let me be a home 

if i am any smaller        any quieter           no one could come inside

mama    so most importantly   

i said   i would stay this way 

the hugest thing in this universe mama     arms outstretched

      let me be jupiter      but kind

and unhidden behind            lightyears

no,         im here to be a home.

a big, open, home.    

not cut in half.      

not small                  

not thin

not alone.                  mama

i said a home.

Remembrance

wake up to the pain of a perfect day—
pierce needlepoint holes right into my soul, my vision.

with loss and a great blue
and a chill 

a memory 

stare into the sun

and the air– goosebumps– 

lips, 

I am a part of the sky, 

if not the moon herself, 

those holes seared into my shell 

by circumstance

your lips on my neck

are where the the light trickles out– 

now I understand why I am your moon and all of your stars. 

the way I loved you

punched holes
where they shouldn't have been 

and some where they should have

you shine 

and you were mine.

—Rose Dallimore