Reflections on my First Few Months at Georgetown

I went to 2 Amys last night. The last time I went there was the night before I moved into school. I took my best friends from home for 2 Amys the day one of them passed their driver’s test, the week before the end of senior year. I went to 2 Amys the night after I got into Georgetown in December- to celebrate. 

Sometimes, I stop for a second, and I feel an immense sense of gratitude and joy because I am here. Sometimes, it happens when I’m on the floor of my dorm room surrounded by my new friends or maybe sitting in the dining hall remarking on the people we see. Sometimes it’s while I’m in a class and I realize I’m finally learning and talking about the things I always wanted to. Sometimes I feel it when I take the long route back to my dorm and admire the changing colors around campus. 

Things feel very different here. I’m happier here. Last Fall, I was so worried that when I went to college, I would slip into a depressive episode, and no one would be there to notice. I’m not afraid of that anymore. While things are not perfect all the time, they are trending positively. The cyclical aspect of depression is one I’ve learned to manage. I am not scared I will be sad forever anymore. Many of the fears and anxieties I had before coming here didn’t entirely play out. Because of this, I often find myself thinking about how lucky I am because so many things could have been done differently, and maybe my experience would have been a lot worse. There was no assurance that I would be surrounded with people I click with. So I feel lucky and grateful that I’ve made friends who I love, and have acquaintances I can wave to or smile at as I walk to class.  

Sometimes things still feel the same. Sometimes I’m listening to GO:OD AM on the treadmill or Circles while I do my homework, and suddenly it transports me to a time in my life I would rather not think about. Then there are times I listen to Melodrama as I walk around campus, and I remember the first time I heard the opening notes of Green Light on my walk home from school in seventh grade. 

I want to take my new friends to 2 Amys soon. I want to take them to the Bishop’s Garden at the National Cathedral and play in the Boveaur playground. There is something unique about going to college in the city where you grew up. I am attaching new loved ones and memories to my already favorite places, and for that, I am grateful.