Freshman Year Reflection
As my friend makes us dinner in the New South common room over Easter Break, music playing
through the shitty speaker of my roommate's phone, reminiscing over our childhoods, a warm
feeling fills me. How can such an ephemeral part of my life bring me such satisfaction? This
moment feels like the quintessential college experience, and I have never been so content with
my life.
In an attempt to capture this moment and replicate it, I feel a need to look back on the year.
I have been looking forward to college since I was in fourth grade. I grew up in a college town, so
the topic of university was always buzzing around. My older sister, ten years my senior, started
at Duke University around that time. The dorm buildings there are stunning, and her dorm was
better decorated than any room I had seen. I wanted to be her so badly. Her apartment is still
impeccably decorated, and when I have my own apartment, I will be using hers as my style
guide.
This previous summer, I had no idea what the next ten months were going to look like. I was
absolutely terrified, staring at the accepted students page for the class of 2028, scrolling,
fretting. That was the summer of long car rides with the sunroof down, crying in the bathroom
until I couldn't, frantically trying to organize times to see my friends. I had no idea if I had made
the right decision, to pick Georgetown, to go to college for political science instead of art, to go to
college at all. I still don't, but I'm more comfortable with this feeling now.
So, do I like college? Has it lived up to its expectations? Am I happy here, satisfied with the
decisions I've made?
Yes but only because it's the only option I have and I'm certainly not going to drop out or look
back now. Yes because I've made this the experience I have wanted. Yes because I have let
myself grow and change but haven't given up on the morals that guide me. Of course I am happy
with what I've done, with who I am, with all that I can and will be, because I have worked hard
to get where I am, and continue to work hard.
All of my life, I have found refuse in education. I go to school because there is genuinely nowhere
I would rather be than learning in a classroom, taking in information, and engaging in
thoughtful discussions. I love it when people challenge the way I think, something I easily found
in academic environments. It was in academic spaces that I concluded that my self worth had
nothing to do with the opinions of others. I was a smart and capable human being, and it was
okay if I made mistakes, because I was not defined by my mistakes. College has allowed me to
thrive, and given me so much more.
And yet I miss my high school friends. The hallowed halls of Healy are breathtaking but my
room still doesn't feel like home. I long for the creaks and groans of a house, for the pitter-patter
of my dog's foot-steps on the floor, for the scent of my mom's cooking in the early evening.
I am happy but not fulfilled. These contradictions consume me in my reflection. I must eat
dinner now.
Goals for next year:
1. Take better notes, spend more time studying, find a place to do work other than the depths of
Lauinger Library
2. Be unapologetic in upholding my boundaries
3. Become more in tune with pop culture so I can understand the references my friends make
4. Find solace in my solitude
best,
paloma